Deviations
by pyrrhicvic
Summary: They were sitting in Barba's living room, going through the details of the case they had been working for the last week, when Olivia finally reached the breaking point. "Rafael," she said, cutting him off in the middle of a sentence about the defendant's answer tree, and she saw him blink. "I have to ask- are you upset with me?"


A/N: Crossposted from my Tumblr and AO3.

Prompt: Barson, "Kiss me"

* * *

They were sitting in Barba's living room, going through the details of the case they had been working for the last week, when Olivia finally reached the breaking point. "Rafael," she said, cutting him off in the middle of a sentence about the defendant's answer tree, and she saw him blink. "I have to ask- are you upset with me?"

"What?" His eyebrows furrowed as he looked up from the paperwork in front of him. "Why would I be upset with you?"

Olivia shrugged, feigning nonchalance. "You tell me. You're tense, avoiding eye contact, you've snapped at me three times tonight already-" he at least had the decency to look a little ashamed at that- "and you've found excuses to leave every room I've been in for the last three weeks. " She paused. She'd had to essentially bully him to get him to agree to meet that evening, and that hurt. "I just… want to know if I did something that I should apologize for." And didn't that come out a lot more pathetic than she'd planned?

But Barba had frozen for a moment, and then he was shaking his head, sliding out of his chair and dumping the case files on his coffee table so he could crouch in front of her. For a moment she thought he was going to take her hand, but he seemed to think better of it, fiddling uncharacteristically with his shirt cuffs instead. "No, Liv, don't think that." He was saying, and Olivia frowned. He still wasn't meeting her eyes. "You haven't done anything, I promise. It's…"

She waited a second for him to finish, and when he didn't, nodded slowly, a tight feeling settling low in her stomach. "It _is_ me, though." It wasn't a question, and Barba was just a second too late in shaking his head. Olivia stood up abruptly. "I think I should go." She said, trying to keep the hurt from her voice and suddenly unwilling to be in his apartment a second longer than she had to be. "We can finish with this at the precinct tomorrow."

"Liv, no- wait-" He was trying to get her attention, but she kept moving, grabbing her coat and sliding around the kitchen counter on her way to the front door. The bottle of red wine she had been drinking from was sitting there, unassuming, and that hurt too, because she knew he only kept wine at his apartment for her.

"Liv, _please_ -" Barba had followed her into the kitchen, and he reached out to put a hand on her arm when she wouldn't stop. The realization came that this was the first time he had touched her in weeks, and that was the only thing that made her turn around, stopping him short as she stepped into his space.

" _What_?" It came out more aggressive than she had intended, and he gave a small, almost indiscernible flinch, but didn't take his hand away.

"I- I'm sorry, Liv, I am. But please- it's not you." He opened his mouth, closed it again, seeming for once in his life like he was struggling for words. "It's been- recently, I've-" he broke off again, and Olivia raised an eyebrow. "I know I've been… a complete ass to you, in the last few weeks. I just- I don't want you to think it's anything you've done, okay? You're- I mean, you're always-" His gaze dropped to his hand on her arm. "You're… fine. Better than fine."

There was a moment where Olivia waited for him to continue, but nothing came. She used the silence to try to decipher the expression on his face- it was both familiar and completely foreign, and for some reason she couldn't explain, she looked down at his hand on wrist and felt something coil in her stomach.

When she glanced back up, Barba's eyes were on her face again, and she realized with a start exactly how close they were to each other. She could see the individual worry lines at the edge of his eyes, the five-o'clock stubble that clung to his cheeks, the slightly chapped skin of his bottom lip-

She dragged her gaze back up to his eyes, and now she was the one blushing. He seemed to have gotten even closer than before, still staring at her with his hand resting on her sleeve, and she brushed her thumb over his inner arm without even meaning to.

 _That_ seemed to snap him out of some sort of trance, and he yanked his hand away like he'd been burned. "Sorry," he started to say, but it came out hoarse, garbled, and he was more out of sorts than she had ever seen him. "Sorry… I…" He swallowed hard, and when Olivia's eyes jumped unconsciously to the bob of his Adam's apple, he made a small sound that she had never thought she'd hear him make.

There was another second where neither of them moved, and then Barba swallowed again, making a jerky, aborted movement as he tried to take a step back, to distance himself, only to find the counter in his way. He was pressed back against it, nowhere to go but forward, and Olivia realized dazedly that to break this stalemate, she would have to be the one to move, to step away. Instead, her feet stayed planted and she found herself swaying even further into Barba's personal space. He was breathing hard, she noticed, pressed motionless against the edge of the counter as his knuckles turned white against the granite.

"Olivia…" He breathed as she finally looked up to his face, and she could feel his words on her cheek, the air ghosting over her and sending a shiver down the length of her body. She bit her lip subconsciously, watched his eyes dart downward and his breath stutter in his chest. He swallowed. "Liv…" he tried again, and his eyes were still glued to her mouth. "You need to…" His voice cracked. "You need to back up." A pause, and when she didn't move, " _Please_."

But she wasn't backing up, not at all, and she felt his breathing stop entirely when she reached up to place a hesitant hand on his chest. His heart was pounding under her touch, but he still wasn't moving, clutching the side of the counter in a death grip, and Olivia wondered what that meant. She blinked, looking back up at him, at his wide, almost scared eyes, and everything suddenly slotted into place. _Oh_ , she thought. _Oh_.

"Rafael," she whispered, and felt the tiniest jerk of his chest under her hand. "Kiss me."

Her words hung on the air like silver shards, leaving behind a moment of profound stillness. Barba didn't move, staring, and Olivia wondered if she was wrong, if she had misjudged the entire situation, and felt her face start to flame as she prepared to apologize, to excuse herself for good this time. But before she could so much as open her mouth, he had surged forward, and there was a rough hand gripping her waist and another one in her hair and his lips were on hers and _oh_.

Because Barba was a _good_ kisser. His mouth was almost desperate, insistent over hers, pushing and taking and _moving_ , and it was Olivia's turn to be thrown off guard. She let out a high, breathless noise as she slipped an arm around his neck automatically, pressing their bodies closer together, and god, he felt good against her. Barba groaned low in his throat, breaking away just long enough to spin them around, pushing her against the countertop before crushing his mouth to hers again.

Olivia moaned, running her fingers through his hair, and felt him shudder violently against her. "Olivia," he gasped into her mouth, sliding a leg between hers and rubbing a jerky hand up and down her side like he couldn't get enough contact, "Olivia, oh _god_ -" She slipped her tongue into his mouth again, cutting him off, and he was lifting her onto the counter and stepping impossibly closer, pressing into her and forcing her to put a hand out behind her for support-

There was a loud crash as the tinkling of shattered glass filled the apartment, and Olivia couldn't help her tiny gasp as she wrenched away. The wine, she realized, she must have knocked over the wine, but she didn't look back to check. Instead, she was focused on Barba, his chest heaving and hair out of place as he stared at her with pupils blown wide. Neither of them moved for a long moment.

"I think-" Olivia began after the silence began to stretch, and her voice was embarrassingly hoarse. She cleared her throat and willed herself not to blush. "I think I may owe you a new carpet."

He stared at her for a second longer, almost disbelieving, and then barked out a sharp laugh. "Fuck the carpet." He said, and hesitated before he moved a gentle hand back into her hair. When she didn't object, he leaned closer and slowly dropped his head to rest in the crook of her neck. "Is this… okay?" He asked quietly, his voice slightly muffled against her skin.

It was a bigger question than it seemed, Olivia knew, and she was surprised at how little she had to think about the answer. "It's okay." She confirmed, and Barba's lips were turning up into a slow smile against her neck. She shivered at the feeling, and shivered again when he turned the motion into a light kiss at her pulse point. "So, do you want to clean up the wine?" She asked half-heartedly, because she felt she should. "Your carpet…"

"Fuck the carpet." He repeated, and pressed a kiss behind her ear, and then another one on her cheek, finally finding her mouth again. She sighed into it, and he was still smiling when he pulled away. "I've got more important things to think about."

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I love the idea that Barba, realizing he has a real, legitimate thing for Liv, just kind of shuts down and goes the complete opposite direction because he's a total idiot when it comes to relationships.

Please, let me know what you think! Feel free to drop by on tumblr (pyrrhicvic) anytime, and I'm always open for prompts, comments, questions, etc. Thanks for reading!


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